Do you sometimes find yourself sleepless at night with thoughts about a concern churning through your head, keeping you awake and leaving you without energy to face the next day? Or maybe there is a challenging task that you procrastinate on completing, leaving your stomach tied up in knots and feeling disappointed in yourself because you “should” be able to handle it.

What would it take to be calm and present instead, fully available to manage the challenge in the present situation?

In the book LIVE SMART AFTER 50! The Experts’ Guide to Life Planning for Uncertain Times, Jan Hively, a lively and inspiring 80+ woman, offers us a clue into how she’s made her last decade the happiest and rewarding time of her life. She says that she follows her passions of meaningful work and has learned to “let go” of the negative messages that don’t serve her today. “I face what’s going on that is generating negative feelings and apply the Serenity Prayer to accept what I cannot change, have the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

A friend offered another simple technique for letting go that she uses at night when she can’t sleep.

Inhaling deeply, breathe in the word “LET”

Exhaling completely, breathe out the word “GO”

After repeating this several times notice a shift from your previous thoughts to a sense of calm. Be aware of your body and feel any tension replaced with a sense of ease. This simple tool shifts the focus off of the negative internal message and encourages you to “let go” of the thought that does not serve you.

There are many other techniques and practices available to support you being in the present moment rather than ruminating on the past or what “might happen” in the future. Some of these include meditation practices, mindfulness practices, and reading inspirational books and poetry.

I leave you with a poem that invites us to Let Go.

“She Let Go”

“She let go.
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…”

                                                                  – Ernest Holmes

Many people find “getting started” on a meaningful path alone overwhelming. Certified Life Coach, Mary Radu, is a skilled guide for handling the most challenging midlife circumstances and creating practical strategies to keep you in action. She helps individuals and couples in their 40’s-70’s to live meaningful lives by focusing their time, money and talents to improve their lives and the world around them.

She inspires her clients to uncover their values and motivations that lead to fulfilling choices and greater impact in the world through their career, philanthropy and lifestyle.

She’s a great support if you need help to get past the struggle and uncover fulfilling new career, lifestyle and retirement directions for the next 20-30 bonus years. Her guidance draws on your experience and passion to develop long-term strategies as well as practical solutions to current work/life challenges.

If there are work or lifestyle concerns that you’re ready to address and you’d like some additional support in taking your next step, contact me for a chat at 707.824.8836 or email me at Mary@PathmakerCoaching.com and let’s take your next step together!

What do LIFE PLANNING, WORK, CAREGIVING and LIVING on PURPOSE have to do with YOU?

Recently I had the privilege of being interviewed by Dr. Zara Larsen, host of Tucson’s live FM talk radio show “Circles of Change”. Along with five other members of the Life Planning Network, I participated in her special series of four interactive conversations.

Grab a cup of coffee and click here to listen to each of these four 20-minute segments on life planning, work, caregiving and living on purpose!

Learn how to:

• increase your ability to manage major life issues that show up at this stage of life
• enhance your self-care and create a path for continued independence as you age.
• move from “success to significance” and “live, not just leave, a legacy.”

If listening to these talks raises some concerns that you’re ready to address and you’d like some additional support in taking your next step, contact me for a brief chat at 707.824.8836.

A personal highlight for me…

Following the Purpose Prize awards ceremony on February 11 in San Francisco I had the privilege of presenting flowers and a signed copy of the LIVE SMART AFTER 50! to Jane Pauley, the Emmy-award-winning journalist. I thanked Jane and Kim Sedmark, executive producer of her TODAY SHOW segment “Your Life Calling,” for Pauley’s endorsement of LPN’s new book. Jane later tweeted a recommendation of the book to her peeps: “Plan for a successful future! (with) Live Smart After 50!”

Mary Radu, MS, MSW, CPCC, Certified Professional Coach and Philanthropy Consultant Invites you to listen to a podcast of the Commonwealth Club of California!

What do I want to accomplish?  Where do I want to go from here?  How can I intentionally share my resources during this phase of my life as well as when I’m gone?

Those of us at midlife are facing a much more extended lifespan than did our parents and grandparents.  Many people are living into their 70, 80 and 90’s with new opportunities for staying active and involved.  If you checked in with your crystal ball in my previous blog you may have learned that you probably have 10 to 20+ years ahead of you.  As you move into your second half of life you may be shifting your focus away from the outward tasks of building your career, raising a family and managing externally imposed expectations. Collecting material possessions now might not be as important as your inner life, having meaningful experiences and relationships. You may sense and see changes in yourself and in the people around you that raise concerns about your own mortality and realize that your remaining time is finite.

You might find yourself asking some big questions about how you live and what you want to contribute with the resources available to you:

• what am I here for?
• what do I still want to accomplish and where do I want to go from here?
• what will I pass along to my family and my community for which I will be remembered?  and
• what do I want to leave behind that will make the world a better place than I found it?

I recently joined with three other professionals to provide some insights on how to make planning for the big questions of life easier.

In part 2 our panel continues the discussion of successfully planning for a long life. Income planning for your future needs and legacy planning are two big concerns that inevitably arise.  The program begins by addressing how legacy planning can fit into your life plan, followed by the financial and legal vehicles for implementing your legacy planning.

Join me in listening to the recording of our session at the Commonwealth Club of California on Longevity Planning: Practical Approaches to Managing Life Transitions (Part Two)

Panelists:

Mary Radu, MS, MSW, CPCC
Elizabeth Krivatsy, Esq.
Ben Yohanan, President, Hatch Retirement Services

If this has brought up some concerns that you’re ready to address and you’d like some additional support in taking your first step, contact me for a brief chat at 707.824.8836.

May meaning be your motivator!
Mary

Mary Radu, MS, MSW, CPCC, Certified Professional Coach and Philanthropy Consultant Invites you to listen to a podcast of the Commonwealth Club of California!

Have you considered how you’ll be living the remainder of your lifetime?
We are all part of an aging nation and world.  For a healthy 65-year-old couple, there is a 50 percent chance that at least one will live beyond the age of 92, and a 25 percent chance at least one will live to age 97.

Let’s see what this means for you.  Look into your own crystal ball and imagine how long you expect to live, based on your heredity, your personal history and your current health and lifestyle.  Is that 95, 80, 70?  Now subtract your current age and note how many more years you have to live.  Now add 5 years onto that number for contingency planning. My hunch is you’ve got at least 5 years.  And most likely you have at least 10, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years or more years remaining!

So you see, there a good amount of time that will be impacted by the way you live starting today and the way that you plan for what will come in the future.  Even for forward-thinking individuals, the amount of planning necessary to cover your bases can be overwhelming.

I recently joined with three other professionals to provide some insights on how to make planning for the big questions of life easier.  In the first presentation our panel addresses the basics of what you might expect during the years ahead plus two core concerns of this generation: Will my nest egg allow me to maintain my lifestyle through retirement, and what if I or my spouse/partner becomes chronically ill?

Join me in listening to the recording of our session at the Commonwealth Club of California on Longevity Planning: Practical Approaches to Managing Life Transitions (Part One).

Panelists:

Mary Radu, MS, MSW, CPCC, Certified Professional Coach and Philanthropy Consultant
Denise Michaud, Long Term Care Specialist
Ben Yohanan, President, Hatch Retirement Services

If this has brought up some concerns that you’re ready to address and you’d like some additional support in taking your first step, contact me for a brief chat at 707.824.8836.

P.S.   Keep tuned it for Part 2 coming soon!

May meaning be your motivator!
Mary

“We don’t get to a choice about what hand we are dealt in this life.  The only choice we have is our attitude about the cards we hold and the finesse with which we play our hand.” Quote from It’s Easier Than You Think, Sylvia Boorstein

I recently led a class for 50+ men and women whose life circumstances caused them to seek help to plan their next steps for work, contribution or enrichment.  Half of the participants were unemployed and came because they wanted support for finding full or part time work in this down economy.  The second half were looking for ways to contribute or enjoy their leisure time.  Many were making shifts and tradeoffs in how they live in order to stay within their financial means. The class offered tools for how to vision, prioritize and plan for today and the future.

However for many participants the biggest learning was the Way they manage their circumstances…the importance of their attitude and choosing to stay in the driver’s seat for their life.

Rather than write an extensive article this month, instead I’m sending you a valuable article.  I hope that it will inform you about some of the financial and job facts that the 50+ generation is facing as well as the ways others are dealing with challenging work and financial circumstances.  I suggest that you take a few moments to:

1. Read the article at http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/employment/2010-08-10-1Aworkinglonger10_CV_N.htm and

2. Do a little self reflection.

After you’ve read the article see how you answer a few provocative questions that will guide you to answer the bigger question…..How will I play the hand life gives me?

·        What point of view do I have when I start each day?

·        What might be the best perspective to take to stay open to the positive opportunities that might show up?

·        What actions am I taking daily to move me closer to meeting my needs as well as my dreams?

·        How am I showing gratitude for the goodness that I do have in my life?

Don’t put your life on hold because of challenging circumstances. Give me a call at 707.824.8836 or email me at mary@pathmakercoaching.com and let’s talk over what’s on your mind.

I’d love to have you share your reactions to this article as well as tell us about the positive steps you’re taking to survive and thrive during this challenging time. Please leave a comment below.

Recently I received an email with this wish:
May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!

Don’t you want this coming year to be the best ever for you?  Since life happens one moment and one day at a time, the only time you can impact how well your life will be lived is today.  We all have life circumstances that can be “better or worse” depending on the incremental choices that we make in the moment, every day of our lives.

Take a look at what you have planned for the rest of today.  What might shift if you decided to make this the most meaningful, contributing, successful day you can live?  Consider these questions in choosing your best possible day scenario:

1. What activities will make up My Best Day? To make this a best day, contributing to an overall best year ever, what are my choices?  What activities must be carried out, which might be better handled another day?  Which might be dropped all together since they don’t significantly contribute to me, others I care about or the world around me?
   
2. How can I carry out my activities so they will add to the quality of This Best Day? What are my choices in how I carry out both essential duties and desires?  What will increase my enjoyment?

Waking up this morning next to my husband I created a best morning experience.  Rather than a quick peck on the cheek, I gazed into his eyes and greeted him with a smile, kiss and words full of love and appreciation for having him as my life partner.

I recently had friends spend the night.  Time with these friends who I dearly love would absolutely make this a best day ever.  Their overnight visit meant they would be with me on Monday morning, which is generally a work day at my home office.  In the time leading up to the weekend I cleared my Monday morning schedule.  Monday morning I reminded myself of my modified work start time so that I’d avoid distracting thoughts.  I also let my friends know how much time I had to spend with them.  With my decks cleared and them knowing my availability we enjoyed a wonderful breakfast and walk together.  I could be fully present with them knowing that I’d shift my focus to work obligations later in the day.

Shifting your days to the best possible is a daily choice.  Will you make today the first of many that will make 2010 your Best Year Ever?  Write me about it!

May peace break into your home and may thieves come to  steal your debts.

May  the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your  lips!

May  happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of  joy

May the problems you had, forget your home address!

Want more inspiration for meaningful living? Complete Sign Up form on this page to receive our Pathmaker ezine  and periodic articles with helpful tips and inspiration.

Read past articles for effectively navigating your midlife career, philanthropy and lifestyle.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Certified Life Coach and Philanthropy Consultant, Mary Radu, guides midlife individuals and couples to discover how to share their unique gifts and be positive change makers. Let Mary and Pathmaker Coaching help you design and execute your unique path, aligning your life with your passions and values. If you’re ready to get moving, check out our Resources or contact Mary to discuss how you can get supported to make a bigger impact 707.824.8836.

Are you fortunate enough to have good food and enjoyable gatherings with loved ones as central ingredients in your holiday season? If so, I hope that you’ll take some special moments to celebration a deeper expression of Thanksgiving… expressing gratitude for the abundance in your life.

Research findings reported in Born To Be Good by Dacher Keltner, indicate that for those who have few financial resources, money does create happiness. “Material gain allows individuals …. to avoid the innumerable problems associated with economic deprivation, including depression, anxiety, compromised resistance to disease, and higher mortality rates.”  However, if your basic material needs are being met, it is the “quality of our romantic bonds, the health of our families, the time we spend with good friends, the connections we feel to communities that create meaning and happiness in our lives.”

The holiday season is a perfect time to remember what does give you meaning and happiness. Here are some ideas you might incorporate into your thanksgiving during this season and throughout the year.

• Make a toast at your holiday table, acknowledging the people there for what each of them adds to your life. You might also include a remembrance for those who are no longer with you that have made a mark on your life.
• Make a phone call or write a letter to someone who has touched you and share a memory that has stayed with you, that changed your life in some meaningful or important way.
• Start a new ritual to reflect daily on the positive experiences that have come into your life. Acknowledge the joyful moments. Express thanks for the people who have helped you. Recognize when you have been able to contribute your unique skills or gifts to others. And yes, acknowledge yourself for the ability to navigate difficult situations that have taught you endurance and courage.

My husband and I have found daily expressions of gratitude to be a deeply enriching practice. We each light a candle each night before we begin our dinner meal and share our gratitudes with each other. Some days we reflect on the birds humorously bathing in the bird bath or the incredible weather or sunset out our back door. Other days we recall the people we’ve worked with who have enriched our lives. We give thanks that at 58 and 66 we have healthy bodies and can enjoy a good run every few days. We often give thanks for the incredibly dedicated caregivers who allow my 98 year-old mother-in-law to experience quality in her life. This practice also gives us a way to regularly acknowledge the love and support that we receive from one another.

Make a choice to create meaningful, happy moments to your life with your own thanksgiving!

Finally, I thank each of you for enriching my life. I give thanks for having the opportunity to work and collaborate with so many of you who are committed to living meaningful lives that make a difference in the world!

Want more inspiration for meaningful living? Complete Sign Up form on this page to subscribe to our Pathmaker ezine and receive periodic articles with helpful tips and inspiration.

Read past articles for effectively navigating your midlife career, philanthropy and lifestyle.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Certified Life Coach and Philanthropy Consultant, Mary Radu, guides midlife individuals and couples to discover how to share their unique gifts and be positive change makers. Let Mary and Pathmaker Coaching help you design and execute your unique path, aligning your life with your passions and values. If you’re ready to get moving, check out our Resources or contact Mary mary@pathmakercoaching.com to discuss how you can get supported to make a bigger impact 707.824.8836.

Our busy lives and the daily challenges we face in the current economic climate take up a lot of time and energy. And I suspect that still you’ve each had moments when you’ve wondered, worried and perhaps even begun making some plans about what your life will look like 10 to 20 years from now.

One of the biggest decisions we’ll each make is where we will live. In his blog, RetirementRevised, journalist Mark Miller sites an AARP survey that found that “89 percent of Americans would like to live in their current homes as long as possible – and that number rose to 95 percent when people over age 75 were asked the question.” Although active adult and age-restricted communities are popping up around the country, a survey by Metlife and the National Association of Homebuilders indicates that only three percent of 55-plus households had moved to one as recently as 2007. The reality is that most of us will be living in our current communities.

There’s a new term for this “living at home” option….it’s called “aging in community”. If you were to choose this option, what would it take for you to successfully live in your current home, enjoying your time, engaging in work or leisure pursuits and taking care of the physical maintenance of your home and body?

For many of us, existing resources – including family, friends, neighbors and community services – won’t be adequate to support us when we need help doing what we can no longer do for ourselves. Yet the best choice for our desire to live independently as long as possible may be to stay in our homes. Plus, staying in our homes may represent our best financial option.

In response to older adults’ desires to remain in their homes and communities, grass roots, member-driven, aging in community Villages are developing around the country. There are at least 48 open Villages across the United States, including three in the San Francisco Bay Area; six more are in development. Villages provide the support services people need where they are, taking advantage of existing community resources and involvement of other members in the intentional community.

According to Susan Poor, a founder and board member of San Francisco Village, “It is well documented that healthy aging is not just about medical care. The holistic approach of Villages and other intentional communities includes practical, day-to-day support, as well as social connection, meaningful work and activities, lifelong learning, and a critically needed focus on prevention and wellness through physical and brain fitness, good nutrition, home safety, etc.”

Is this an intriguing lifestyle option you’d like to explore?

If so, the first step is getting clear about your desires related to participating in a virtual Village community. What do you perceive may be the obstacles and challenges you will face in the years ahead having the support you will need? I can help you get clear about what you want and set in motion a plan to explore this possibility. Contact me or call 707-824-8836 for a brief chat to talk over your situation free of charge. You also can find out more about what these intentional communities offer and how you can become involved. Check out the Beacon Hill website.

Want more inspiration for meaningful living? Complete Sign Up form on this page to receive our Pathmaker ezine and periodic articles with helpful tips and inspiration.

Read past articles for effectively navigating your midlife career, philanthropy and lifestyle.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Certified Life Coach and Philanthropy Consultant, Mary Radu, guides midlife individuals and couples to discover how to share their unique gifts and be positive change makers. Let Mary and Pathmaker Coaching help you design and execute your unique path, aligning your life with your passions and values. If you’re ready to get moving, check out our Resources or contact Mary to discuss how you can get supported to make a bigger impact 707.824.8836.

Every once in a while something comes by my desk that I believe will be of value to you. I thought you would find the information below very valuable to help you be a “Positive Change Maker” of your own life and keep you on course for what’s truly important during your life’s next stages.

Millions of Americans have had to change their retirement plans in the wake of the 2008 financial meltdown. The new PBS series, Retirement Revolution, looks at the stories of everyday people who have found ways not only to survive but thrive in this new reality.

Check this link to find the schedule for your local PBS TV station http://www.pbs.org/wttw/retirementrevolution/

Or watch at your leisure on the web by clicking the video below.

How are You Taking Positive Steps to Survive and Thrive?

I’d love to have you share your reactions to this program as well as tell us about the positive steps you’re taking to survive and thrive during this challenging time. Use the Comments link to add your thoughts.

Want more inspiration for meaningful living? Complete Sign Up form on this page to receive our Pathmaker ezine  and periodic articles with helpful tips and inspiration.

Read past articles for effectively navigating your midlife career, philanthropy and lifestyle.

A Date in the Garden

I recently made a date with my basil plants, all six of them, that I carefully planted in the raised beds soon after we moved into our temporary rental house this past May. I remember what fun it was picking them out at the organic nursery soon after a very intense move from the home my husband and I had shared for over 10 years.

Now several months later, these lush, green plants were calling to me to prune their unmannered heads before they would go to flower. I looked at my calendar and was feeling a little resentful that Mother Nature expected me to shift gears and carry out Her work. I noticed myself considering this task as an unwanted chore that was stealing time from my schedule of business priorities. The time I set aside had arrived for me to pick a grocery bag full. This finally was starting to feel fun again, clipping the fully formed leaves stem by stem with the sun warming me. After what felt like a short time in the garden I was faced with several hours worth of washing and picking the leaves from the stems and turning it into the green paste that would make many delicious meals between now and next harvest season.

Focus on What You Value

My guess is that you’ve had this experience, where once you focus on an unappealing task, it suddenly transforms into a timeless, peaceful and energizing activity where the clock seems to stop. With a conscious decision we each have the opportunity every day to take these tasks and encounters we find in front of us and turn them into uncommon, meaningful experiences. When we shift our attention to what is of value to us and look for where it shows up, we bring more of that experience in.

Find ways to capitalize on the law of nature that dictates that we can only focus on one idea or feeling at a time. To increase the pleasure and possible joy spent in any activity look for the parts of your task that please you. For me with the basil, it was the tactile feel of the leaves, the sun on my back, the meditative plucking of each leaf from the step, the smell of the basil essences and tasting the luscious pesto as I put the finished product into jars. And it was also giving myself a deserved break from my office and computer to a task that would give me a very special meal at the end of the day and in the months to come.

Even when your tasks involve people you would rather not have to deal with, look for something positive that encounter offers you. It might mean remembering that you’ll be contributing something important for that person’s development. Or if you decide to recruit a friend or family member to help you brainstorm the situation you can feel how sharing the burden within our community lightens our load and helps us create the results we want.

It’s Your Turn to Focus

Focus on what you uniquely value and experience how uncommonly meaningful moments blossom! Where will you turn the common parts of your day into uncommon experiences for yourself and those you touch? Pick just one right now and see what happens? I invite you to share your uncommon stories with us. Post your comments so that others can learn from your experiences.

“When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.” George Washington Carver
http://www.gratefulness.org/

Want more inspiration for meaningful living?

Complete Sign Up form on this page to receive our Pathmaker ezine  and periodic articles with helpful tips and inspiration.

Read past articles for effectively navigating your midlife career, philanthropy and lifestyle.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Certified Life Coach and Philanthropy Consultant, Mary Radu, guides midlife individuals and couples to discover how to share their unique gifts and be positive change makers. Let Mary and Pathmaker Coaching help you design and execute your unique path, aligning your life with your passions and values. If you’re ready to get moving, check out our Resources or contact Mary to discuss how you can get supported to make a bigger impact 707.824.8836.